


A Silent Bang

by orphan_account



Series: 30 Seconds to Mars Drabbles [137]
Category: 30 Seconds to Mars
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-27
Updated: 2012-10-27
Packaged: 2017-11-17 03:19:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 2,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/547068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a single moment, everything changes. Shannon will never forget the feeling of his brother's blood on his hand. Tomo will never forget the look of horror on his friend's face. And Jared will never forget the pain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

The crowd cheered loudly; the last few notes still ringing out through the arena. Shannon couldn’t help but smile as he watched his brother scurry across the stage cajoling the audience into a roar. A chuckle broke the drummer’s lips

                “Are you read-“

                Shannon glanced up and frowned when he saw his brother standing frozen on the catwalk. He quickly glanced towards Tomo and Tim only to see matching bemused expression on each of their faces.             A shrill scream broke from the crowd, snapping his attention. His heart stopped as he watched Jared slump to his knees before tumbling to his side, a puddle of red pooling beneath the motionless body.


	2. Part Two

 

Shannon rubbed his red-tinted hands together; willing to rid the appendages of the taint. His brother’s white shirt was dyed ruby, that and the pale complexion all he saw before he was pulled away as the stage medics pushed him away to treat Jared.

                Now, he, Tomo, Tim, and numerous members of the crew sat in the waiting room awaiting news. Seconds turned into slow passing minutes, and minutes turned into lethargic hours. The sun rose once again and was high in the sky before a doctor appeared, his sea-green scrubs decorated with dark red spots. “Uh…Mr. Shannon Leto?” he called out.

                “That’s me.” Shannon hopped up, “How is he?”

                The doctor sighed and ran a hand through his salt-and-pepper hair, “Frankly, it’s touch-and-go. The bullet tore through his right lung and nipped the right side of his heart causing massive internal bleeding along with his lung filling up blood practically drowning him.” The doctor frowned, “We took him into emergency surgery and repaired the damage, but we can only hope. His heart was damaged from the gunshot and it wasn’t it the best condition to start with. We have him on a ventilator right now to inflate his right lung and we hope that he’ll start breathing on his own soon.”

                “And if he doesn’t?” Shannon weakly asked.

                “We’ll come to that bridge if we must,” the doctor said solemnly.

                “Can…Can I see him?”

                “I’m afraid only family can see him for now, so your friends will have to remain here.”

                Shannon turned to look at Tomo and Tim, the two guys waving him forward. “They understand.”

                “He’s in recovery and he’s currently sedated,” The doctor quickly explained, “Now, if you just follow me.”

 


	3. Part Three

He was stark white. He nearly blended in with the sterile sheet, his brown hair a sharp contrast. Taking a deep breath, Shannon took a hesitant step towards his wounded brother. He couldn’t help but lick his lips – a nervous habit. He slowly sat down in the chair beside the bed, his hazel eyes honed in on the slight movement of the chest – it corresponding with the soft whoosh of the ventilator.

                He gently took Jared’s hand within his own; wary of the IV. Emotions over swept him causing his vision to blur. All he could see was red.

                His brother’s blood pooling on the stage floor.

                It coating the shirt.

                Jared’s neck.

                His hands.

                Even after washing his hands numerous times, the red tint was still there. Fragments were under his fingernails. And he felt the thick substance over his skin. Mocking him. Taunting his failure at protecting his baby brother. Sniffling, Shannon laid his forehead on the bed, tears soaking the white under sheet; silent prayers fell from his lips as he willed his brother awake and for his forgiveness. 


	4. Part Four

It’s been four days.

                Four silent days.

                The only sound Shannon heard was the soft whoosh of the ventilator to let him know that Jared was indeed still alive. His mother was arriving later this evening, and he had hoped that Jared would’ve been at least off the machine to give her the small shred of hope that Shannon was quickly losing. The medical jargon that the doctor spat out flew over Shannon’s head but it rang one thing true in his mind:

                Jared was seriously hurt…

                And he might not come out alive.

                The mere idea that his baby brother dying was heartbreaking. It tore at Shannon’s soul and sucked it dry. It was always Jared and Shannon, Shannon and Jared. Never apart. No major fights. Just two brothers who moved frequently and always had each other backs. Even when they began this musical journey, they promised each other it was either together or not at all.

                And Shannon would give 30 Seconds to Mars up in a heartbeat if only Jared opened his eyes and breathed a breath of his own. He knew he should go see Tomo and the others, let him know what’s going on; but he couldn’t get up and move. The nurses were nice enough to set up another bed for him so he didn’t have to leave. Tomo brought a him a change of clothes every day, and he quickly showered in the male changing room down the hall; and even those few short minutes, Shannon was in agony.

                What if Jared stop breathing, and he wasn’t there?

                What if Jared woke up, one last time, and he wasn’t there?

                What if Jared opened his eyes, and he wasn’t there?

                Shannon was always there for Jared during any monumental part of his life. When his mother brought home the little blue bundle, Shannon’s anger for a Christmas ruined went out the door when he saw his baby brother for the first time. Constance calmly told Shannon that this was his baby brother and as the older one, had to protect him; and even at the tender age of one, Shannon took it to heart and made it his oath.

                To this day, everyone knew that if someone messed with Jared, Shannon would be seconds away to back his baby brother up.

                And it was of course, reciprocated.

                Shannon took a deep breath and ran a hand over his face.

                He could feel the tears once again bubbling up; but, he held them down.

                Jared might be at death’s door,

                But it didn’t mean he was going through it. 


	5. Part Five

He has begged.

                He has pleaded.

                He has prayed.

                And he had hoped.

                But nothing was happening.

                His brother lay, motionless with a machine keeping him alive. His heartbeat was almost artificial at this point. Daily, the doctor would come in and talk about “Pulling the plug” but the very notion almost killed Shannon. His mother, heart-broken, clutched her youngest son’s hand tightly, her eyes honed in on Jared’s face as if looking for a sign that it was not all lost.

                Shannon held his brother’s other hand, mulling over the fact that as days crawled by, Jared might not get back up. His brother who has waged war against every barrier in his way and come out on top, victorious and proud, was no longer going to be beside him.

                He wouldn’t hear the soft singing early in the morning.

                Nor would he hear the quiet clanks of the pans as breakfast was being made.

                No more Tweeting messages that made him smile and chuckle.

                No more small moments where he could look over at Jared and simply say “We did it.” And Jared would beam a smile up at him and hug him as if he was the one that fought the world to make 30 Seconds to Mars possible.

                He was just the drummer, and the occasional bodyguard for Jared. He was the support center for Jared. He was the one that Jared came running to when he had an idea, looking like a six-year-old every time he did.

                Jared was simply everything. He was the one that held the band together. The one that woke them up in the morning with a drive that was infectious. He was the one that kept going even though everyone said he would fail.

                His brother was fearless, and Shannon always envied him for that.

                But now, he wished his brother wasn’t.

                It was because of his fearlessness that he lay in a hospital bed.

                And that he was possibly dying.

                Shannon leaned back and took in a shuttering breath, ignoring his mother’s tear-choke inquiry if he was alright. Wiping the tears from his eyes, he looked back his brother’s youthful face. “Hey, Jay…Baby Jay,” he chuckled through a sniffle; Jared always said he hated that nickname, “This is your older brother, and you have to listen to me alright? You have to wake up? Ma’s here, and she wants to see you, and Tomes been aching for some vegan pancakes, and you know I suck at them. You’re the only one that can cook the damn things. So, listen to your old brother here and cut me a break, I don’t think my heart can take this anymore.”

                He gently pecked the back of Jared’s hand, a few tears escaping his hold and trickled down his stubble-coated cheeks, “Please wake up Jay. Please, I love you. Wake up.” 


	6. Part Six

The days slid by, and the heartbeat remained, but no other sign of life came from Jared’s still body. Shannon and Constance remained by his bedside; waiting.

                Weeping.

                Praying.

                Hoping.

                Begging.

                Dying.

                Shannon laid his head against the soft padding of the hospital bed, the position uncomfortable, but he’s given his bed up for his mother; the woman sleeping fitfully behind him.  He could feel the gentle caress of exhausted egging him on to sleep; but, he didn’t want to. The small notion of sleeping seemed obsolete when he was holding a hand of a man that was on death’s door.

                He wanted every minute he could have.

                Because they could be the last.

                Sighing, Shannon let his eyes slide shut, succumbing to the need. He squeezed his brother’s hand tighter.

                And got a squeeze back.

                Shannon sat up, his eyes wide as he looked at Jared. The man’s face remained the same.

                Stoic.

                Pale.

                But, he swore he felt Jared squeeze his hand.

                Hesitantly, he squeezed his brother’s hand once more.

                …

                Nothing.

                Shannon swore under his breath. Cursing his nativity and hope and his sleep-deprived mind that was playing such tricks on him.

                Shannon leaned back and closed his eyes, muttering one last expletive.

                And that’s when the machine started to screech. 


	7. Part Seven

   He didn’t know what was going on.

             As soon as the machines started to go into mayhem, he and his mother were ushered out and the door was slammed shut behind them. The shades were dropped and the two Letos were in total isolation. He wanted nothing more than to slam through the door and make sure his baby brother was okay; but, instead he was comforting his mother, the woman sobbing into his shirt.

                He felt his own tears welling up; but, he refused to let them fall.

                He would let them fall once a doctor walked out and told him what was happening to his brother

                The seconds ticked by and not quickly enough the door eased open and a disgruntled looking doctor eased out of the room. He slipped off his paper mask and smiled at the two Letos.

                “He’s off the ventilator…” 


	8. Part Eight

He thought he would be awake.

                The doctor said that this was a sign that Jared was healing. That he wasn’t gone.

                But he thought that meant that Jared would be awake.

                Awake and demanding to be released.

                Jared never did like hospitals.

                In his seat once more, Shannon gently took his brother’s hand. A simple mask replaced the tube,  it fogging every time Jared exhaled.  He was seemingly asleep, and it was taking all of Shannon’s hold not to grab his little brother by the shoulders and demand that he wake up. He just wanted to know if Jared was alright.

                He was supposed to be the older brother.

                The confidant.

                The watcher.

                The Protector.

                But he failed. He failed his baby brother.

                And he was going to spend the rest of his life making it up to Jared.

                It was the least he could do for his baby brother would have the scar of his failure forever on his chest.


	9. Part Nine

The first time he saw a sliver of blue appear; he thought his heart would explode from sheer joy. His name – softly said and sounded as if Jared was singing for a day straight – made him lurch forward and grasp the hand tightly; telling Jared in more than words that he was here.

                That he never left.

                That he never would.

                Jared turned his head; his eyes half-lidded and obviously a bit confused. He saw Jared searching. Looking for an answer that Shannon didn’t know the question to. He just hoped that his face held it. Shannon chuckled weakly when he saw Jared’s lip tug upward in a small smile.

                “I’m fine.”

                Shannon let his tears fall once more and nodded. Standing, he ran a hand through Jared’s hair.

                “Yeah Baby Jay…you’re fine.” Shannon sniffed and stopped Jared’s hand from reaching up – he didn’t have the strength to do that quite yet, “You’re fine.”


End file.
